Because I am a loving wife and I picked the last movie we went to see (which was Frozen by the way and it was awesome even Landon loved it) I let Landon take me to see The Lego Movie.
Oh my hell, never again, ever. I am picking all movies from here on out. (Granted, I saw Thor with Landon even though I do not do "superhero movies" because I hate them {I sit through the entire thing clinging to my faith in America's justice system thinking "OMG Homeland Defense and the Justice Department would shut this guy down so fast"} and I saw the Hobbit with him even though I do not do "sci-fi/fantasy/magic movies" because I hate them {I sit through those obsessing over why on earth they have to make all the creatures so freaking ugly and why they can't just be people- I know the bad guys are bad guys in normal movies because they are bad not because they are stupid, ugly, mean creatures}and I would watch those on a loop for hours just to never see the freaking Lego catastrophe again.)
It was possibly the longest hour and half of my entire life. I had hopes in the beginning. It hinted at mature, relevant themes. At first I thought maybe, just maybe I could walk out of this movie and have an adult conversation with my husband about the evils of the corporation or the 1984 motifs in the movie. Yeah, no. About 15 minutes into the movie I could literally feel my brain melting and it only got worse from there. I won't bore you with a play by play of the idiocy but I will tell you that while the entire theater laughed around me I stared at the screen with disdain and judged the future of America.
How on earth that movie made money at the box office is beyond me. And how LEGO is not so freaking embarrassed that they put there name and trademark on such a waste of time and money astounds me. I literally came home feeling like I needed to stay up all night reading Shakespeare or Dickens just to make the stupid go away.
I had read on Facebook that the ending of the movie totally saved it which is why I didn't get up and leave in the middle of the movie. It did not. It was just as dumb and just as pointless and plot-line-less as the rest of the movie. I honestly feel like Lego owes me my money back.
Oh, and you will have the dumbest song stuck in your head all night and you will hate yourself.
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